It is just so hard for me, or even for many of us, to believe that someone could love us. Especially when we are hard on ourselves and when we feel so unworthy, how can someone love us? In this world and time, when we try to "earn" love through beauty, wealth, position, power, fame, and whatnot, how can we possibly believe that someone can love us when we feel ugly and poor, and despite the position, power, or fame, we might have, so many of us feel that's just not enough.
I was praying one day, sincerely feeling an enormous amount of love towards God. At the point, I thought of all the things He has done for me and my life ran through my mind. I saw that I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for His kindness and grace. And seriously, I just love everything about God. So I prayed over and over, "I love You, I love You, I love You..." And all of a sudden, believe it or not, I heard a voice. The voice said, "But do you know that I love you?" For a moment, I was taken aback. I knew for certain that it was God in reply to my prayer. Then my automatic response was, "Of course, I know..." but stopped midway. 'Did I really know? Did I really believe that He loved me? Why can He love someone like me?' And I realized, I really didn't know that God loved me. So I prayed, "God, because I'm dull and not so spiritual, can you let me know Your love through a person?" At that moment, I had this strong feeling that God will speak through this one particular person.
Sure enough, after our prayer session, that very person came to me, grabbed me by my hands and took me aside.
She told me that as she was praying, she had a message for me from the Lord. The Lord told her to tell me that I am very beautiful and that He loves me. Also, that I must believe that He loves me 100%.
Did I believe her? Yes. Did I acknowledge it? Yes. Did I realize that God loves me? No. Not quite. I think that's something I need to face, understand, and realize on my own. Through the messages and continuous prayer, I'm beginning to understand. But I know, that love is overwhelming and great. From time to time, I feel it, and when I feel it, my body shakes and I cry because that love is so great and moving.
Why do I write this here? So that we can overcome ourselves, stop being so hard on ourselves, and realize that God loves us...believe it or not. It will be our loss that we can't accept this simply because we don't believe. I guess that's why Sunsangnim constantly tells us that God has loved us for the longest time but it was always one-sided. I would like for us to love God and realize that He loves us. Me, too. I'm still on my way.
Let's try to understand that it's not beauty, fame, position, or wealth that will earn love. To receive love, you need to give love.
Comments (1)
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