There are just too many misunderstandings in the world.
We perceive people and circumstances through our own rose-colored glasses.
We even perceive people and what they do according to what we might have done in those same circumstances.
That is when conflicts arise...sadly.

One thing I've faced this week is that some have assumed certain things about me, why I said what I said, what I have conspired to do, what I must have thought at the time, and with what intention. I was taken aback by those assumptions because those thoughts or intentions have never crossed my mind. In fact, I just don't think that complicated. I know the limits of my mind. In fact, I have limits to what I can think at one time. I tend to think that there are only so much space in my brain to retain so I prefer to think simply. I feel that excess thought take up too much of my brain space and I want to reserve it for more important things (like my social security number, my to-do list, and promises I've made that week.)

Plus, I have the most transparent expression in the whole world (or so I think but I'm pretty sure I'm right.) So why risk getting caught lying, deceiving, or conspiring when I'll get caught inevitably. So I prefer honesty and genuineness. That is just the simplest way to live life. Nothing to keep track of.

Sometimes, I'm just so involved with myself that I simply don't have time to plan or conspire around another human being. Really. I would like to occupy myself more with ways I can improve myself as a person and really, really put all my efforts into putting the Word to practice. Hah! And last week's message was to love your brothers. It shouldn't be that hard because I really don't hate anyone but I think Sunsangnim (Jung Myeong Seok), meant for us to do more than that. I felt that it meant that I shouldn't do the eye-for-an-eye thing but to go the extra mile even for those who treat me with disregard. Now, that's hard. And this week, Sunsangnim told us to value Jesus more and emphasized that he is the one and only Son of God. I love Jesus but again, I believe this is a week of realizing deeply Jesus Christ's value and reflect it in our daily life.

I love these weekly projects. It really keeps me going and helps me feel progress in my faith and life.

Okay, what I can learn from my experience this week...don't project my thoughts upon someone else and take them for face value. Don't interpret people's actions too much or else I'll end up doing the same things people do to me.

What's the definition of divinity?

I can see that people's view of divinity is anything or rather anyone who is above and beyond the normal person from birth. I see it differently.

If God is divine and God created us in His image, wouldn't we all have the potential of being divine? My definition of divinity, and hopefully the definition that many others will adopt, is to take what God has given us and with all possible effort, we make ourselves like God. The operative word here is "like" and not "to be" God. No one can be God. He is one and unique.

So in my point of view, natural born talent is not much greater than talent that is made. In fact, I prefer the talent that is made because it shows that the person has the ability to maintain it once acquired. Pastor Joshua (aka Jung Myung Seok) has shown me the true meaning of this.

When you first find out what he WAS like, he was no better than a common person. In fact, he says that he had more disadvantages like being short, being Korean (hey, I'm proud of bein Korean!), being born in the countryside, having a short tongue (meaning can't enunciate words as clearly), being ugly (or so he thought), and being poor. Plus, he was painfully shy and had limited education. *Note: In Korea, you have to pay for even elementary level education and being poor and being one of the 7 kids, made it difficult to attend school after 4th grade.

Okay, so he had these disadvantages but he made himself. He educated himself with the most sophisticated form of literature, the Bible, by reading it over and over and trying to understand the complex parables in the Bible. He practiced over and over so that he can now speak in front of thousands. He kept himself well-groomed and clean to best present himself, and he overcame shyness as he spoke to strangers about the gospel every single day.

He had no artistic ability, nor that of an athlete. So what did he do? He practiced kicking the soccer ball at a minimum of 1000 times so that he can become skilled in accurate shooting. He practiced a stroke of a brush pen and even his signature days on end. And oh, his singing, I have to say this without bias, was terrible. When he sang, I couldn't tell which song he was singing because he was so out of tune. (Although I have to give him credit for singing so deeply that the lyrics just pronounced themselves.) His singing, however, improved tremendously and can you believe he even composed one of the most heavenly songs I've ever heard?

When I see all his struggles to perfect one skill, all to give glory to God, I see hope. I see that anything is possible. I also see that the miracle is to actually make yourself what you weren't before, that it is to "create" yourself. So then, isn't divinity to be able to create ourselves as God is divine because He created us and the world?

I can see this in how he made WMD (Wolmyungdong: the natural temple that he created in his hometown. You can see the video of this place at www.providencetrial.com.) He didn't know a thing about rock landscaping. In fact, he hired pros then let them go so that he can make it himself the way he intended. He failed about 3 or 4 times before making something as grand as what you see today. Seeing his hard work and all his efforts, I know now that he is an example of someone who took what God gave him, appreciated it, and developed it valuably. And consequently, Jesus Christ did the same. In Hebrews chapter 5, it states that Jesus made himself perfect through correction and obedience.

So, divinity is made.

And for those born with great talents, without effort or devotion, consider it lost because just as we can become divine, we can make ourselves non-divine through laziness and basically taking it for granted. What I'm trying to say is, I'm going to work on "creating" myself as Pastor Joshua (Jung Myung Seok) had done. And who better to create ourselves with none other than our Creator, God.

My mother is the greatest person I know. I know that it was her prayers morning and night, crying for my well-being, that ultimately got me in Providence. And she teaches me so much even now. I want to share a moment that represents how great of a woman she is.

I remember being asked to do something. I did it willingly losing sleep over it. I did my best to make it perfect and flawless. I did it because I really saw it as God's work. I also looked forward to seeing how it would benefit everyone and seeing smiles on their faces. Yes, I did see smiles on their faces, and I felt that in some way, God was smiling through them all.

However, a couple of people began to complain to me about how they expected more and what they were displeased with. I can take constructive criticism and I am more than willing to work on it if it's within my power. But the way they complained was very inconsiderate of what it took to get it done. I was overwhelmed with the unfairness of it all that I began to tell my mother about it. I expected comfort and encouragement but noooooooooo~!

She all of a sudden said, "I'm disappointed in you." 
I was like, "what?" 
She said, "The reason why I support you and love you being in Providence is because I thought you were doing all this for God."
I was in total amazement. I said, "Of course, I did it for God."
"Then why do you seek acknowledgment from the people?"
I then said, "Mom, didn't you hear me? I don't seek acknowledgment. I don't care about that. I just wish that people wouldn't have to complain about it if they are not going to acknowledge it."
She then said, "If you really did it for God, then whether they acknowledge you or stone you for it, you will still be happy that you did it for God."

Wow, that really hit home. I saw the truth in it and came to the realization that whether people criticize you, complain about you, or even praise you, it should not affect the gratification of doing God's work. Why? Because what it comes down to is...God.

Again, I love my mother for always guiding me in the right direction and helping me see everyday that God is our one and only.

By the way, I am now much happier, criticism or praise, doing the work of God...for God.